Into The Rabbit Hole

This is why I love Colorado.

Panning for gold…

Jameson seeing ahead.

Funny.  My life has become so busy that I’ve had little time to be all introspective and stuff.

Which means there has been significantly less content on this here world o’ mine.

Which means… you all must terribly miss me.  *wink*

I was just thinking…  it’s interesting to recall those very precious moments I once held so dear.  It’s interesting to reflect and think about what my values were then, and what I wanted more than anything- what I longed for.

It’s amazing how easily those priorities change.

It’s dumbfounding how easily I was able to create what I really wanted, and in the process of creating what I desired, I didn’t even notice it happening.  It’s like, *poof* there ya go darlin’, and oh, by the way, in case you didn’t see it coming, we (the universe) gave you all of this months ago, you’ve just been too busy to see us leave the room.

It makes perfect sense: focus on what you want from this life, because then you will get more of it.  For some of us, this process is a lot magic and a little luck.  For others, it’s a lot logic and a little emotion.  For everyone, it’s truth, even if you refuse to see it as such.  What you focus on is what you get more of.  Focus on feeling bad, and your neurotransmitters begin to reabsorb those happy chemicals before you have the time to feel good.  Which makes you feel bad some more.  Which makes your neurotransmitters forget how to feel good.

Feeling bad is both psychologically and chemically cyclic.  We don’t understand exactly how it works, but we know that feeling depressed and being able to absorb serotonin properly is very much a chicken or egg ordeal.  They walk together, hand in hand, and in turn it would make proper sense that if you proceeded to feel good,  your brain might start working right chemically as a result.

Additional research has proven that using mechanical forms of altering the chemical mechanism works, too, to raise the mood.  Hence, SSRIs.

So, I’m here to tell you that focusing on what you want is not just a temporary deal, it’s a lifestyle.  You’re going to stray from it.  You’re going to forget, and you might end up going through a super stressful, super high anxiety, not-getting-what-you-want kind of phase every once in a while.

I’m feeling the urge to revisit this positive attitude, though.  I’m seeing it work, albeit WITH EXTRAORDINARY effort on my part… but if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

Trust me.  This shit pays off.

*ZZZZZZZ*

I’m pretty tired.   A long day of being step-mom, driving in traffic, being on the phones with moms of sick kids, and then hanging out with the kids’ mom.  All in all, a great day.

Now I’m just tired.  Time for bed!

Do you know how much spam I get in my comments here at Perilously Precocious?

Seriously, I’ve had more than 500 in the last two weeks.

Does that mean anything?  Other than that I am SUPER thankful for Akismet spam filter?

Maybe I’m popular.  Or maybe I just have a really small penis.

Holy Jeez.

Things are certainly picking up in both volume and enjoyment.

We took our final camping trip for the year this Labor Day weekend, and it was a great time.  Went with a co-worker and her friends & family, and we seriously laughed our butts off at least a handful of times.  That’s muy bueno.

My honey has a new job that he loves (hooray!) and it seems like it’s going to be an absolutely perfect catch.   He has to be to work at seven, which means that now I get to take the kids to school.  This is pretty cool– mostly because I know a number of the people there and I get to sort of feel like I have an ‘IN’ there.  I ran into my favorite high school English teacher there just yesterday.  She’s now the 8th grade literature teacher, and it’s neat to catch up a bit… We exchanged our “You look fabulous!” and “How are you’s?” and I can’t wait to run into her again.  Also, my dearest Amber H has in-laws who teach there and she ran into Kora’s kindergarten teacher at church this last Sunday.  Yeah, we’re cool, we’ve got in’s and yada yada… this stuff was important back in the day.  I’m just glad to know it’s a good school they’re going to.

School is awesomely awesome.  I’m sooooo stoked to be able to finish this BA up this year.  I might just do it just to get it done.  Hmmm.  Wonder if I might get a raise associated with the new letters behind my name.  That’d be pretty rad.  I love my classes… The Legacy of Arts & Letters class is super interesting: politics, religion, social norms, culture… that’s damn near everything I think is fun to talk about!! The statistic class, while totally boring material, is made fun because my teacher is silly and cracks the most off-humor jokes you could think of.  I love it when a teacher really makes an effort to entertain us.  And lastly, my Research Methods class is taught by a teacher whom I’ve already taken for a few classes over the last year, and I’m excited to work with him once again.  I know his style and appreciate his personality.  All of my classes are enjoyable, and I’m stoked for this semester to be completed!

Work is really busy lately, and I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that.  I’m much happier when I’m constantly busy.  I looooove my job… it’s everything I could possibly desire, and since I’ve been in jobs that I’ve HATED, I’m sure to count my blessings every day.  That’s sort of how it goes.  You have to really appreciate the good stuff once you’ve got it.  It seems like that’s a law of this life: You go through the experiences until you learn what it is you want and don’t want, and then you have to sort of mold your life into what it is that you want.  Then, having had multiple experiences of what you DON’T want, you learn to appreciate the things you have that you DO want.

It’s all about the contrast, right?

Just a shout out to the Universe:

Thank you for surrounding me with healthy, loved children!!!

• Having regular anxiety, which is physically manifested and observed as heart problems, fluttering, un-triggered panic attacks.
• Would like to avoid medication at nearly all costs.
• Need to eliminate caffeine & nicotine to see if that helps.
• Need to significantly avoid sugars.
• Need to spend more time being physically active.
• Accccccccccccccck!

Ugh.

Now, I’m trying to focus on peace.

This just makes me shake my head.  I sort of feel like you should watch it, though.

Channel 7 news article

Youtube Link

Okay, okay.

So this whole DNC thing has honestly gotten to me a bit.  There is a constant threat to my city– a city I realized today that I take a whole lot of pride in. The fear bug bit me.  I admit it.

Aside from the dramatic craziness that *could* happen upon us, there really hasn’t been a whole lot out there.  Yes, there have been protesters flooding the streets of downtown Denver, but it’s not been a whole lot different than any one of our parade-filled holiday weekends.  Only the parades aren’t necessarily parades, they’re political folks with signs and costumes and a possible arrest here or there.  And several leaders of these marches/protests are big names.  Woo hoo.  I know.

There were 13 anti-abortion protesters who were peacefully arrested.  That was pretty cool, I guess.  They’re trying to make a point, and I get that… but was it worth having a permanent black mark on their record?  Meh.  They’re not riding on the same horse I ride, though, so I guess I’m a bit ambivalent about it.

I kinda like that so many people are out there protesting.  I like seeing people who are able to express their political and religious opinions freely.  THAT’S why I love America– it’s the freedom to say and do what you need to do.

There has been a HUGE police presence, which sort of gives me the heebie jeebies.  Denver’s not like that.  There really aren’t that many police roaming the streets.  I know they have a purpose and all– and they’re doing a good job of holding their tempers.  I doubt I could do that.   Of course, there’s such a HUGE media presence as well.  Maybe that’s yet another piece of the puzzle keeping all these crazies under control.

Anyway, the pictures from today really were sort of inspiring.  Even if I don’t agree with half of the people out there (don’t even get me started), I do appreciate that they’re out there publicly supporting what they stand for.

Pray for peace in my city.  I’d be devastated for anything other than an uneventful convention.

The Happiness Project

Once upon a time, I found relief from the pits of despair.  How?  I focused on ‘happiness.’

Since then, I’ve gone through a relatively roller-coaster-like up and down of life, and find myself on a generally even-keel, mellow calm.

I found this blog today.  A light bulb went off in my psyche.  I want to gradually drag this calm back up to the level of ecstacy.

How?

Focus on ‘happiness.’

This is just one step in the process of increasing my vibration.